i just finished reading this and after reading Tybalt's response at first I thought what a wanker then I thought about it some more and read some more responses and thought well some of it is probably true.
It is often too easy to forget that really nice thing that he did or that surprisingly sensitive thing he said a week ago and focus on that moment, when I want his attention or affection because I'm tired and it would be really nice but the truth is he's tired as well and wants the same from me but I can't be stuffed either.
maybe it's not as unfair as sometimes i think it is. But don't get me wrong I still think that guy is a bit of a wanker especially since I can cross out most of his remarks as not applying to my relationship or any normal woman, but the ones that do, well they do make me think.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The things i thought i knew
I don't want to say that I know who I am because I probably only think I know, but I do or did think I knew who I wanted to be to my friends and family, I thought I knew that above all else I valued being a good person to my people when they weren't ok, when things weren't quiet right but in the last couple of months I have learnt that I can't be that for everyone, some people just don't want it and to be honest when they start to treat me like shit i stop really wanting to contribute good things to their life.
Some people might say but that's the point hanging in when someone needs a friend needs support even if they don't know it. But here's the thing, the people I'm talking about and most people I know are big kids or better phrased are adults. To me that means you should probably know yourself pretty well by now. If i feel myself getting down i know it and can usually figure out the reason pretty quick and so do something positive to fix it, i think most people should be able to do the same. So when people can't take the last step and do an about face and make positive steps to make their own life better then I have to say I'm out, yep that's right I'd have to walk away. Any change you make in your own life needs to come from your own determination not anybody else.
I say all this knowing that when friends or family have needed me and wanted me to help i've done it and would do it everytime without question but I'm not going to be a martyr or bang my head against a wall, it's a matter of self preservation, if other people treat me like crap enough than it doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy inside it brings me down and above all else I need me to be ok otherwise the rest isn't worth anything at all.
Peace Out
Some people might say but that's the point hanging in when someone needs a friend needs support even if they don't know it. But here's the thing, the people I'm talking about and most people I know are big kids or better phrased are adults. To me that means you should probably know yourself pretty well by now. If i feel myself getting down i know it and can usually figure out the reason pretty quick and so do something positive to fix it, i think most people should be able to do the same. So when people can't take the last step and do an about face and make positive steps to make their own life better then I have to say I'm out, yep that's right I'd have to walk away. Any change you make in your own life needs to come from your own determination not anybody else.
I say all this knowing that when friends or family have needed me and wanted me to help i've done it and would do it everytime without question but I'm not going to be a martyr or bang my head against a wall, it's a matter of self preservation, if other people treat me like crap enough than it doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy inside it brings me down and above all else I need me to be ok otherwise the rest isn't worth anything at all.
Peace Out
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